Flip Wilson - Johnny Mathis, Joe Namath, George Carlin (2023)

Introduction

Video

The cliff wilson show and now here's what all right all right see this is henry and and uh.

This is jared.

Henry is johnny's dog and jerry is mine.

That's good! Not now jerry nice to meet you get fresh with jerry.

He hasn't seen it yet right: okay, hey what what kind of dog is that it's an english poodle, she's, an ugly dog! I take that as an insult, because generally people associate the dog with the owner, you got, you got a big shaggy dog and I got a little short stucky dog.

This is the way bulldogs are supposed to look.

This is one of the pretty ones I mean when those in bulldog land, when, when this bulldog goes down the street and those other bulldogs see they say, wow.

Take that fox, hey flip! You got papers on that dog.

Oh, I don't have him with me.

I left him at the house, spread all over the floor.

Do all bulldogs look like that.

Well, that's the way it's supposed to look according to the guy who sold it to me.

Oh where'd, you buy her, oh in an alley in an alley.

Yeah the guy had jerry up on this coat and he walked up to me said you want to buy a hot dog.

Let's try to sing our way out of here all right, fine, ouch, you're.

Stepping on the pouch too us out.

Let us out the population has exploded, you're.

Stepping on my beat said, the pelican to the moose watch out you're.

Stepping on my snout sent the moose to the honking goose cat, you stepping on my neck, fit the goose to the tall giraffe ouch, my house.

Oh my toe! Oh, oh, oh, that's! What is I'd rather not talk about it! Uh hello! Your name is jim yeah.

This is joe what you're just in time for the day, and you want to have lunch sure, honey, listen! We're starting a ladies day here and I have to interview a new instructor but I'll make it quick red I'll meet you there in 20 minutes, yeah, honey.

Of course I love you, hey, hey uh, who is this? Oh darlene? I was only kidding and it was your alarm right.

Come in it's open, come in yes, honey, uh, I'm the new instructor you sent.

The name is miss jones, geraldine jones.

How do you do I'm joanie, uh charmed, I'm sure broadway joe playboy of the western world? Oh you've heard of me huh, you must be a football fan.

No I'm not a football fan.

I'm a man fan well we'll have to make this a short interview, geraldine geraldine, who said you could call me, george.

You don't know me: oh you're, a devil! Would you mind hanging this up for me? Be careful that hey it ain't dead, yet he tried to bite me this morning.

I've never seen a fur like that.

Well, it's 10 beaver and 90.

Dacron killer works for a guy who owns a decron farm.

All right, you get your own drip dry fur coat, yes, honey during the summer.

I keep it in the freezer.

Well, listen! Do you have any references references? I don't need any references, but have you had any experience in physical culture party honey? The only culture that I know about is physical.

Well, look! Uh! Let me see what you know about this equipment.

Yes, what I know about the equipment? Well, honey! Generally, don't get behind me! Just you just stay up here where I can watch you now.

I know about them.

Quarterback sneaks! I generally, when I conduct a class, I give them a little pep talk.

First now I say: girls girl.

We all shut up and listen now.

You all know why we're here.

So, let's cut out the faking and get on with the shake honey is killer, knew about this.

This is what this is.

What you call a back feeling motion quite often in case of power failure.

I teach the girls to do this without the machine.

However, we won't get into that right now.

Can we do this some other time do what some other time, I'm only gonna give you a massage you better watch it joe I'm gonna be fast for honey, you're, just another body to me: I'm not bashful, but I have to go out.

Honey you've been out all season.

Oh uh, what's the matter, I got a bad rib honey, I'm working on your neck.

Oh now, what I got a bad shoulder too, you got a bad shoulder, a bad rib, two bad knees and a broken wrist honey.

You should have left before her husband got dead.

I told you, the name is miss jones.

Now, I'm not gonna tell you again.

You must not have heard about killer killer who's, killer, who's killer, honey.

He marched down the football field of my heart and tore down the goalposts of my love.

Touchdown killer's, your boyfriend, huh, that's right, honey he's my number one draft choice and the army's looking for him too turn over honey.

You done on this side.

I really hate to keep darlene waiting.

You devil you.

I saw the way you huddled with aunt margaret in that picture.

What'd you think of my acting joe.

Let me put it this way compared to you.

Jim brown is sirloin stay where you are honey, I'll get it we're not finished yet touchdown hello, darlene, uh, hunt joe's here uh.

He can't come to the phone now he's flat on his back.

Who am I that's none of your business.

If I'd want to talk to you, I'd have called your house who am I well you've gotta ruin it with darlene.

For me, she's, not your type honey.

You need a woman with fire, don't fight the feeling! Why don't you have lunch with me? What me have lunch with you with your reputation, I loved, but I better check with killer.

First, oh a killer doesn't have to know about this.

He don't huh.

Keller, don't have to know about this well honey.

If killer caught me having lunch with you without asking next year, two of us will be out for the season.

Well, listen! If you change your mind I'll, be downstairs in the timeout.

Cafe, yes I'll, be in the booth in the booth, in the back in the back in the corner in the corner in the dark in the dark.

There's a booth in the back in the corner in the dark.

Let me tell a killer about this.

Everything I have is yours.

Well, almost hello is this: the pool hall roscoe is killer.

There well tell him to rack two more tables, get the dime and come to the phone killer.

I was just talking to broadway joe bad after one uh joe invited me to lunch, he said it'd be in the timeout.

Cafe I told him I had to check with you first.

He said it probably wouldn't make any difference to you.

He said you probably wouldn't even want to know about it at all.

I told him I better ask anyway, he said he'd be in the booth in the back in the corner in the dark.

Yes, you're gonna meet him, that's right in the booth in the back in the corner in the dark, okay, honey that called me from the police station.

Well, there goes joe's legs again, uh well good evening, ladies and gentlemen, let's knock it off good evening, ladies and gentlemen, once again the big hand is on the four.

The little hand is on the two and by golly it's time for the six o'clock report.

Hal dean here, dean hal here, religious leader maharish, maurice hashish today announced the formation of a new religion, one that teaches that when you die, your soul goes to a garage in buffalo.

Turning now to our nation's capital, congress had a busy day today in washington.

For that story, here is rod bernard in maine, hi dan thomas here at yellowstone national park congress had a busy day today in washington and now back to hal dean in new york.

Thanks steve, always a penetrating report.

Time now for the movie review, and today a zany comedy two's company, the story of siamese twins who are joined at the lips and the merry mix-ups that occur when one gets married and the other has root canal work done the same day now for some late-breaking news across the tracks.

Here's stafford grips oh hello there.

This is stanford crips and I'm over on the other side of the tracks.

Wilt chamberlain has just announced, he's retiring and becoming a baseball team, and now this late bulletin fire broke out in the topless bar next to mom's barbecue palace.

It took him 20 minutes to put the fire out in three hours to put out the farm for news on the human side in washington.

A government agency claims we're winning the war on poverty.

The president has promised to withdraw 200 000 poor people a month until it's over friends.

It happened today in the heart of manhattan and friends.

Manhattan does have a heart old children.

Standing on the corner of 125th street in harlem, saw a miracle the garbage was collected and now for the latest in sports.

Here's biff barf in the spotlight spotlight well good evening.

Sports fans, beth barf here in the biff bar sport, light spotlight.

I call him the way I see him and if I don't see him, I make him up no games.

Today, however, we feel a few late football scores still coming in from the far west guam prep 45 tahiti 14.

mindanao, and I 27 molokai 10.

caltech 14.5 mit 12 to the third power and here's a partial score, philadelphia, 29.! Well, that's it from the scoreboard.

Kids, don't forget to join me tomorrow afternoon on the ever-widening world of sports when I'll be presenting the national two-man pall bearing championships and next week I'll be a guest hunter on american sporting man.

Six of us are gonna, kill a rabbit, our special feature: here's our science, editor ralph, lab in washington, the in washington, the food and drug administration has removed all thermometers from the market.

They were found to contain mercury.

One final note: here's a community announcement from reverend leroy the of the church of what's happening now, one of the sponsors of our news program.

The church picnic is scheduled for tomorrow.

If it rains in the afternoon the picnic will be held in the morning for tomorrow's weather.

He is l, sleet, your hippie debbie, weatherman, hi, al hey, baby, what's happening, okay, okay, what you call your pasta, al sweet, hippy, lippy weatherman, brought to you by folsom's, eggnog, hey there mom getting bombed around the house.

Why not do it with folsom's eggnog made from only the freshest eggs and only the finest hand-picked nog present temperature is 41 degrees at the airport, which is stupid because I don't know anyone who lives at the airport tonight.

The radar is picking up a line of thundershowers which extends from a point nine miles, north northeast of secaucus new jersey, along a line to a point, five miles south southwest of the point to be right near fond du lac.

However, the radar is also picking up a squadron of russian icbms, so I wouldn't sweat the thundershowers tonight's forecast dark continued, mostly dark tonight, turning to partly scattered light in the morning.

Well that just about wraps it up on the four o'clock news join us again tonight at 11 for the noontime report.

Until then, this is dean, howard and hal dean, leaving you with this friendly word of advice about your child's teeth, nobody's perfect, distributed by the sfm entertainment division of sfa.

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